Its time for a change!

After getting in contact with Oliver, we talked and he agreed to let me stay with him for a few days. He was actually really happy I have finally decided to move to the big city with him. He was a little upset that I left the day after Valentines without any type of warming but after expressing to him how I felt he understood and said that we should just allow our relationship to grow naturally from here and if that means us being more than friends then Im going to let it flow. Ive packed up all my things and now all I need to do is turn in my keys and head to the bus station. As the bus pulls out of town we see the riots in the street while the buildings are burning down to the ground. Man, I can honestly say I am not going to miss anything about this strange crazy ass unexplainable event having ass town. BYE BYE PARKERS PLACE! BIG CITY HERE I COME!

No Money Springs Misery

You know, Spring is somewhat depressing I mean, it is for a stripper at least. During the winter, people want someone to cuddle up with. Guys are willing to pay that extra dollar for a little warmth if you know what I mean but DAMN. Now that theres a little sun light they want to act brand new on me. I gotta eat too. This is depressing like really tho. Im tired of having to depend on men to provide me with my needs. Nasty older men at that. They make me sick. I don't need this! Maybe I will go back to school. Get a degree or something. Im far from stupid so I could find a job and make some descent money doing something average people do. I haven't spoken to Oliver since I snuck out of his house on Valentines day but maybe I will give him a call. It would be great if I could move out of Parkers Place and stay with him for a few days while I get my life together.....Did I just see a flock of ducks walking down the sidewalk?!

O! love to me is but a season – Seldom does it overstay

O! love to me is but a season – Seldom does it overstay...Its the day after Valentines day and I wake up next to someone i have known forever but never thought I'd actually have any type of romantic relation with. I mean, yeah, the attraction between us has always existed but he has always been like a brother to me. Or maybe I was in denial about the fact that I am completely and totally head over hills in love with him. Ehhhhh, I wouldn't take it that far but the current circumstances as to where I am say that I do have feelings for him. I had sex with him!!! Oh my goodness! I had sex with Oliver! What have we done! OMG! Ive gotta get out of here before he wakes up! I Am just going to slowly creep out of bed, grab my belongings and get the hell out of here as fast as possible.  As I am on my way home I can not help but think about Me and Oliver I mean, what if this ruins our friendship or what if he never wants to talk to me again. I wonder if it was good. AGHHHHH! I can not help but panic about this. This was never supposed to happen. EVER! As I walk into my appartment I randomly remember that the movie theater will be showing "My Bloody Valentine" today. Hmmmm, maybe going to see a movie alone will help me to get Oliver off of my mind. 

Lonely but Fun

Oh My Goodness! What is wrong with the people at Happy Lucky Laundry? I knew I should have just stuck to washing my own damn clothes. Theres absolutely nothing I can do with jeans and shirts and hoodies that fit two sizes too small. Coffee sounds really great about now I think I will stop by the market to get that and a few other things, maybe a bottle of wine, or two, or four. I almost forgot it was snowing until walking outside and almost instantly freezing to death. I am going to add hot tea to my grocery list. As I walk into the grocery store I hear Mobius Evans on WPPK radio talking about a murder and a dead body that was found in town. Thats exactly what I wanted to hear today! I have got to get the hell out of Parkers Place before I end up dead somewhere. Can you imagine that, front page news reads "Young Parkers Place stripper found dead at the basketball court on Sweetwater Blvd"? How tragic! Anyways, I think the hardest decision I am willing to make about my life right now is whether I want Merlot or a Cabernet. Lets just get both! I got what I came here for and I get in the check out line and the lady working the register asks me if I had heard about the murder and the dead body that was found. I was shocked, most people around here make no effort nor show any interest in conversing with me. I told her I had and that I think its horrible, also to watch out for herself because I know damn well I will be watching out for my ass. Ill be damned if some one were to run up out of an alley and shank me. She laughed, handed me my purchases and told me that she thinks its interesting. Responding with a very calm,"What the hell" I then ask her why. Why is it interesting? People in big cities across the world are being killed every minute. That shit is not interesting, its scary and makes me want to stock up on pepper spray. Walking out of the grocery store slightly upset, I then remember that I do not have to work tonight. Oh Hell Yes! Im definitely getting drunk. Making it into the house safely, I change into more comfortable clothes and pop open the Cabernet, Tonight is going to be lonely but fun. Just have to think "lonely but fun". Damn, This is about to be one long night.

What TF Is Going On?!!!

St. Catherines Halloween part is tonight and I have nothing to wear! Usually,I would not attend anything with anyone that lives in this town but I need to get out and do something to take my mind off of the stress in my life. I know the perfect place to go. There is this little costume shop, called Occasions, about three miles outside of town that always has the cutest halloween costumes. So, as I am grabbing my purse and getting in my car and what not, I look out of my window and see that there is a strange man sitting next to the bus terminal reading peoples hands. Hmmmm, Ive always wanted some old lady with a nose piercing and turban on her head to tell me what my future would be like. You know, like the same stuff you see in the movies but a little less dramatic. Anyways I made in to Occasions and picked out the cutest costume. Im a going to be a sexy bumble bee. The costume even has wings!!!! I am going to be in that party like..BUZZ BUZZ B*$@HES!!! After making it home thirty minutes before the party, I was able to get dressed and be out of my house an hour after it began which is all good because I really have no need to be on time. Its not like I talk to any of the people that will be there anyways. Im here and it actually is not that bad. I said hi to a couple of people as I made my way over to the drink table. I thought this was an adult party. Where the Booze at Bruh?! Damn, I came here to relieve some stress and all the have is some damn punch. Well its what ever. Ill just grab a cup of this punch. Im drinking this punch and I start feeling real funny. After one cup I begin to lean to the left and tint to the right and my body is just not controlling itself. AYEEEE! This is what I came here for...I say its time for more punch. So, I get one more, then another, then another. Two o'clock in the morning rolls around and I realized I have had almost eight cups of punch! Im drunk as hell! Leaving the party I yell "Its time for me to leave and explore the world!", not knowing where I am headed. Walking down the street I see the strange man still sitting at the bus terminal. Im about to ask him to read my hand. I mean its not often that you can get your future told to you for free. Usually they want some kind of money. But he agreed to read my palm. As he is touching my hand his body begins to shake out of control and the grip he has on my wrist gets tighter and tighter. HOLD UP! I am drunk out of my mind right now so I am slightly confused about whats going on but I still realize that something is not ok. I snatched my wrist away so fast and began to run. Im running as fast as I can to get home when I trip in a puddle, fall down and hit my head on the side walk. That is all I remember before blacking out. It is the morning of the next day and waking up is horrifying. I wake up in my bed,  tucked in very nicely, there are bandages around my head and my pillow is lifted. Now, i know that I did not do this last night but who did? Damn, I have a massive migraine and it heels like my head is about to explode. I can hear my shower running and then it cuts off. I am scared as hell. What Tf is going on?! Who is in my house? How did I get home last night? The bathroom door opens and I begin to hear footsteps. Damn I hope Im not about to be murdered because that would suck. I see a shadow about to turn the corner and all of a sudden this really hot, Calvin Klein Underwear model type guy, comes out of nowhere. Am I dreaming?!

Looking For A Way Out

I feel so disconnected from the world. Experiencing the same things week after week after week is such a bored and tiring lifestyle. Waking up Saturday morning to rain and grey sky doesn't exactly set an exciting mood for someone as young as I. Tonight I have to work. Cant wait for all those tired ass old men to come in and make my job a lot harder than it has to be. Older men want to talk and have conversation and find out your life goals and all that shit. In my mind the reoccurring question of "Does he want a lap dance or not" will not go away. After entertaining the conversation he finally pull out one, not two, not three but one five dollar bill, gives me a wink of his eye and says "theres more where that came from". After that a thug came in. Dressed in these baggy jeans, a wrinkled white tee shirt, and a pair of dirty old tennis shoes. His swag was very outdated, if I ever remember dirty clothes being popular. One of the boys in this group of thugs comes in every Saturday night with little to no money and tries to get at me. This is when I hide. I do not even want them to know I am here. I just wait for the bouncer to throw him out. Tonight was slow so, I decided to leave early. As Im in the back gathering my things I hear a knock on the dressing room. "Who is it?" I asked. "Its the bouncer, I noticed some guy starring at your featured photo earlier so just watch out as you are on your way home", said the bouncer. Hmmmm, how strange, I thought but its whatever. I continued to put my things away. As I walked out I decided to stop and take a look at my picture on the "Tonights Ladies" wall. Looking at myself I can not help but shed a tear or two. In this photo I see someone I never wanted to be. Not in a million years. When people look at this they see a young girl who is consumed by men, money and probably even drugs. That is not who I am and surely not who I want to become. I know that I am in school and am only stripping for a little cash on the side but others do not. I left, the club with these thoughts in my head. It was especially dark outside tonight. Walking in the door of my home and noticing that the power had gone out I just take off my clothes and get in bed. A good nights rest would do me well. Falling asleep I start to dream of moving to a big city with Oliver. I can feel the huge smile across my face as Im asleep. Unfortunately, the nightmare beings, once again, as I wake up Sunday morning.

Introductions are in Order!

             The day started with a walk down Plain street. As I walk I look in the corner of my eye. Two old ladies starring at me as they point and whisper. More gossip about me, nothing unusual at all. I mean, I enjoy the attention. Sometimes the things I hear people say are too hilarious. One day I heard the silliest rumor that I am an alien girl whose spaceship dropped her off in the playground behind Blues and now that Im here I will make an appoint to sleep with every man in town until they are all possessed and under my spell. I think its just my captivating beauty that makes everyone in this dystopian little town jealous. Just the fact that I am different puts them in some sort of anger. I am named after my mothers great aunt, Illiana Vitale. My mother is Sicilian and My father is Ethiopian, which makes me, well, gorgeous! I reside in this little big city , at the Parkers Place Apartments. This city is not small but it is by far no New York City or Chicago. I know everyone and most people can recognize who I am but it is almost always because of what they have heard about me from another person. Who I am, what I do and where I work seems to matter a lot to the people in this town. Its sad that I am looked down upon because of what I do. Mentally I consider my job a fine art. It requires strength, concentration, determination, and strong will because sometimes I do just want to get the hell out but quitting is not an option. I work at the town strip club. It is not the most morally justice occupation but I enjoy my job most of the time. It makes me feel beautiful and more confident with how I look on the outside and most of the broads that walk around town talking about me have husbands and sons that make visits to the club every week. Dancing for them is my way of getting revenge. I do have a secret about my life that most people figure they know the answer to. They assume that, since I am a stripper, I am a professional when it comes to putting it down in the bedroom but on the contrary, I am a Virgin. I know, its hard to believe but I am only 21. I am in college and I have never been in love so I am saving my virtue for the right time and person. Plus, boys are trifling, they say a lot of things, tell a girl that they love her, she gives him her virtue and he breaks her heart. Deep inside they don't love a damn thing other than food and sex. A hand full of boys actually grow up to be men, and men are not perfect but they will know how to love and treat a woman right and Dammit, that is what I need! I have a boyfriend, well he is a boy that is my friend, who lives about six miles outside of town. His name is Oliver. Oliver and I have been best friends since kindergarden. I spend most of my time, outside of my job, at Oliver's house because I really do not like this town therefore I do not want to spend my free time here. Who ever Oliver falls in love with will be the luckiest woman in the world. Hmmmmm....:)